Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Is Homeschooling Not Good For Boys?


"What is your opinion of the following quote from Pastor Steve Schlissel? Assuming dad is at work all day, does he have a point about a lack of adult male involvement in homeschooling?" 

"Moreover, we should let the little secret out of the bag that homeschooling is far more fitting for girls than for boys. By learning at home, girls are in their future dominion headquarters; boys are not. The truth is that homeschooling can be dangerous for boys, keeping them from challenging male role models, narrowing their field of vision, stifling their godly instinct to be aggressive, a little messy, and overtly and physically competitive."

My answer to him is there aren’t many “challenging male role models” for them in the schools since most of the teachers are female! I homeschooled my boys for a few years in junior high and they loved it. I didn’t teach them homemaking during these years. They would read for several hours. I found good books for them to read like historical fiction, biographies of great missionaries, etc. Then they would do math for about an hour. After they were done with this, I’d take them to the beach to go surfing or they would play outside with each other. As they got older, they changed the oil on our cars, did the yard work, fixed things around the home, and things of this nature.

Ken worked out of the home so he saw them quite a bit and played with them a lot. He was out in the front with them teaching them how to pitch, throw, kick and catch a ball, plus played lots of basketball with them. They also went over to their Grandpa’s home to learn French. In the afternoon, I took them to basketball, baseball or soccer practice or games; depending upon the time of the year. Basketball and soccer are very aggressive games.

 They loved being homeschooled! They got to read books that interested them, eat whenever they were hungry, and play outside often to get their energy out. In this way, they were much more protected from pornography, foul language, dirty stories, humanistic and godless teachings, etc.

Compare this to regular schooling. They sit in a classroom for long periods of time which is not good for any children, in my opinion, but especially not for boys. They were created to move and to move a lot, not be put on drugs to calm them down. In school, there are short times for recess if they are in elementary school and PE class; then they are fortunate in junior and senior high if they even get a PE class. Does anyone think this is better for a boy than homeschooling? If a boy is raised on a farm, he can help his dad with the farm. There are many ways to find ways to get good men involved in a son’s life. Even getting them involved in church and missions is good. My boys did both of these things. There are so many wonderful opportunities with homeschooling. 

One woman in the chat room wrote this about homeschooling: "For our family it's not necessarily trying to figure out what's wrong with public school. We focus on the benefits of homeschool and that is enough to convince us. Bonding time with mom, opportunity to teach life skills as well as academics, equipping them to know/defend/love their faith and the Lord, bonding them as siblings, time to play and be creative, clean house/healthy meals/simple living because mom is home, control over influence, opportunities to serve outside of normal church times, ability to explore interests fully, lack of busyness. The list goes on and on. A simple life focused on loving the Lord and cherishing the years we have with our children when they're small!" {All of this sounds great to me for boys as well as for girls!}

In conclusion, yes, homeschooling is great for boys if the mothers make sure they are not training their boys to be women or feminist boys, but do what they can to get godly men involved in their lives, if the father is unavailable or not interested. 

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
2 Corinthians 6:14 - 7:1



***Here is an article about the books many public schools are requiring their students to read. This is extremely difficult reading. I had to skim through parts of it.

Comments (12)

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Homeschooling not good for boys??? Better not tell my four sons (who just happen to have ALL been homeschooled). They spent the majority of their school years (including all of high school) being educated in the home, and they certainly haven't suffered from a "narrowing of their field of vision" OR a "stifling" of their "godly instinct to be aggressive, a little messy, and overtly and physically competitive". They were each others best friends and playmates growing up, and YES! They fought, but they fought fairly and learned to resolve conflicts. They grew up knowing how to work hard with their minds AND hands and to love their family, God, and country. Where are they NOW that they are adults? The oldest is a United States Marine Corps officer, the second born is leaving this summer to serve as a missionary teaching in a grade school in Central America, the next to the youngest is sitting for the written exam right at this very moment for entrance into our Highway Patrol's Trooper Academy, and the youngest is training for a job in management. The oldest three have bachelor's degrees from an accredited Christian college. The first born is a licensed pilot, and the next to the youngest is currently a student pilot... And my husband and I have PEACE and JOY to KNOW that they are walking in the Lord.... If we did them an injustice by homeschooling them? Well... Like I said.... Better not tell them! I'd hate for them to realize they were failures.

Just a little side note --- The three with bachelor's degrees all graduated DEBT FREE. They spent their summers before and during college and the afternoon hours during high school working their tails off... and saved almost every dime they earned. They also had jobs during the school year while in college. All four have cars which they saved for and paid for in cash... and NO credit cards. Yes! You might say that my husband and I are just a tad bit proud of them.
1 reply · active 469 weeks ago
That's another thing about homeschooling which is far superior; teaching them to work hard, not feel entitled to anything, and to not have debt. Thank you, Shelah. Your boys, now men, sound wonderful! They are great assets to this culture.
Homeschooling is what you make it! Nothing wrong with boys learning some skills in the home, as long as they also learn to other things, such as welding, etc. Some classrooms are brutal for boys - it can take one terrible bully. They can make a boy's life horrible, while he is entirely innocent. Better to teach in a comfortable environment and let him learn with undivided attention. With today's great homeshooling curriculum, many great homeschooling groups, lots of extra curricular activity available - it can be a great thing!
1 reply · active 469 weeks ago
There is so much filth that takes place in the public schools today, Maria, that I would not even want to be around let alone expose my precious children to it. Thank you for your comment.
Quietness Peace's avatar

Quietness Peace · 469 weeks ago

Homeschooling is great for my boys! They don't have to sit for long periods without moving and they get to spend a lot more time with their dad. My teen often gets his work done by lunch time and goes to work with his dad. I don't know why anyone would think that there are male " role models" at public school! Even if there are a few good men there they are way too busy to spend time one on one with each boy.
1 reply · active 469 weeks ago
I agree 100%! It's the best place for boys and girls; at home with their parents teaching them godliness instead of worldliness.
Lori, thank you for sharing the link to the required reading in public schools. As I read through the article, I had a flashback to my high school English class and Toni Morisons books were a required reading back then - nearly 20 years ago! I now remember reading one of her books and being shocked by the explicit and coarse language. When I was assigned to read another Toni Morrison book, I refused. I submitted a letter to the teacher requesting to be exempt from reading it and classroom discussions. I was assigned to read "The Great Expectations" instead. I also remember reading "The Kite Runner" in college and being disturbed with its contents - it's mind blowing that these books are considered popular fiction!
On the other hand I discovered a series of wonderful Bible based books by William Andrus Alcott, an education reformist in 1800s, that discuss in depth what is truly required to become a mature and responsible God fearing adult. He also advocates home education and writes a lot about using discretion when choosing reading material and only read those books that benefit the mind. If people needed discretion in 1800s, how much more we need it today!
He has written books for young men and young women, husbands and wives, mothers, and many more relevant topics for Christians. His teachings remind me of yours, Lori, and in this day and age I need to fill my mind with as many wholesome teachings and reminders as I can!
1 reply · active 469 weeks ago
Thank you, Inna! We are commanded to dwell on the lovely and the pure, therefore, must be so careful with what our children read. I look forward to reading some of this man's writings.
We have homeschooled the whole time. This is one thing we haven't changed. We had moved several times, but we could keep going with schooling. I personally think they learn more at home and actually have more of a desire to learn on their own.

I had late readers, but they thrive and read a lot now. If they would have been pushed in the school system to read, before their brain was fully developed , it would have probably been like my husband. He failed first grade because of not being able to read. To this day he never really learn to love reading. He told me to not push them to read. At the age of 9 most of our children learn to read and got it quickly. Family keep bringing it up they don't know how to read yet. They have learned that they are doing well with school.

I have one that has graduated and has a very good job. He learned on the job training and has flourished. I have another one who graduates soon as well. We have happy content children. Their cousins who go to public school seem, stressed, tired, depressed, and just plain down unhappy, in general.
2 replies · active 469 weeks ago
TheJoyFilledWife's avatar

TheJoyFilledWife · 469 weeks ago

I know a man who wasn't a competent reader until he was 12. He was made fun of a lot and no matter how much his mother worked with him on it, he had a hard time comprehending. Once he got it, though, he really soared! In a matter of 6 months he was reading at a collegiate level and is a far superior reader and writer than most everyone he knows. That's the beauty of homeschooling, really. You can work with patience when a child has an area of struggle and foster that when they finally make the mental connection.
One of my sons was doing terrible in public school getting very bad grades even in 5th and 6th grade so I decided to homeschool him. At home, he mostly read good biographies of missionaries and historical fiction; books he loved. He went on to graduate from BIOLA University with a biology degree and is working hard to support his family of 5!
Our son, who will be 22 in a couple of weeks, went to public school through 4th grade. To make a long story short, our son was doing fine in school grades wise and had friends. I began substituting part time & my view on public school changed and I started investigating homeschooling. My husband and I decided to give it a try. We would have 2 students, our son and daughter who just turned 5.
There have been times here and there where I've questioned if I did the right thing but my husband, who was a little more reluctant in the beginning, never has. He is very glad we have chose homeschooling for many reasons.
Now, I have always done the majority of book teaching as he has always had a full time job. For years he was off on Friday, Saturday, & Sunday. We would use that time to go fishing, hunting, take short trips, etc.
While we have never been a family who does tons of organized sports we have always let the children chose one thing to participate in other than church activities. So for our son he has played t-ball, baseball, & jiu jitsu. He and his father (sometimes us girls would go) were also very big in something we have in the area called "AKC field trials" where they would take our beagle dogs out to hunt for rabbits and you can earn trophies and prizes. This was always a way to make friends.
When he was 17 he decided he wanted to learn a trade (machining and welding) instead of going to a traditional college. He has done very well in this and I am so proud of his work ethic. My husband is the foreman at our families machine shop and he sees men in their 50's who just don't care at all.
My son decided to leave the family business and now is head machinist for an upcoming company that builds flying cars. --Now tell me that's not a dream job for a 22 year old.
Material wise he has bought his own house & truck. He also owns an ATV and a boat. --Not all brand new but other than the house and truck payments he is debt free.
Being he does live alone right now I'm glad he knows the basics of laundry, cooking, and lawn care so we should teach them how to take care of themselves as they may not always have a partner their to do it for them.
Why say all this? Because I just want to say it can be done and a homeschooled boy can be successful.
NOW ALL THAT SAID... Since I've been homeschooling for 13 years now I have come across the type of thing that Pastor Steve Schlissel is talking about. These girly type boys who ride their mother's coattails to the point that it is disturbing. The strange thing is we started to get to know a family where the mother was completely the dominating parent in the family. They had one son. He was so socially ill-equipped that he didn't even get dressed in the morning without mother picking out his clothes and the way he acted & would not really speak to people except her was odd and just made people uncomfortable. They never participated in any "boy" things. She would knit and the only outside activities other than here and then attending a homeschool field trip was her knitting club. This was at age 15. I rarely see them anymore but the boy is now 18 and does not have a job of any kind or go to college, he does not drive and the mother seems happy he's home with her. - There have been a few others but this was an extreme case.
Now don't get me wrong, I have made many mistakes over the years. Losing my temper, being too lenient, being too strict, etc. I think that just comes with being a parent homeschool or not. The main thing I think people lose sight of is we are raising adults. I want my children to be able to think for themselves & express themselves in a safe environment while growing up. However, they will eventually have to be a part of the "real world." We must equip them for that.

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