Recently, I was talking with an acquaintance of mine. She is not a believer and knew about my blog so she asked me about it. She mentioned that she was a feminist. I asked her if she wants to be like a man. She exclaimed, "No! I love it when my husband opens doors for me and grabs me by the elbow to help me across the street." Concerning my viral post, she responded, "I don't want my husband to do the housework. He works so hard all day. He certainly does not need to do housework." {So far, she doesn't sound much like a feminist!} Later on, she told me about her daughter who sews bathing suits to sell. I asked her for the web page. She told me, "Oh, you wouldn't like them. They are the thong type bathing suits." I asked her,"Doesn't she know what this does to men?" She didn't know how to answer.
How would an unbeliever respond to a statement such as this one? I pondered it a while after talking with her. Does she not care that her daughter is making bathing suits for others that are promiscuous and make it difficult for men to not lust? Do women of the world even care about things like this or do they not think about it? Are they so immersed in today's culture that they simply go along with the flow and do as it does?
As believers, we live by a higher standard, the Lord's standard. Our actions mean something. What we wear says something about us. We should know how men think and what can provoke them to lust knowing that lust is not a thing of the Lord. The lust of the eyes is one of the three main sins: the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. Should we not live our lives with careful introspection to make sure we are living for the Lord and bringing Him glory instead of living for our own lusts and satisfaction?
Even in the ministry we have in the home, we should daily be pointing our children to the Lord and to goodness and away from the things of the world. Let them see the wonder of living for the Lord. Don't make it burdensome, but show them how being in the center of His will is the safest place to be. Teach your children from the time they are young to dwell on the lovely and the good while being an example to them of living this way. Make sure they are dressed modestly as children and have a sense of shame in being naked and showing too much flesh to others. No their bottoms shouldn't be showing out in public, even as children. As your daughters grow older, explain the male sexual appetite so they are well aware of not doing anything to inflame it. For all believers are the body of Christ and must do nothing that blasphemes His Holy Name.
The fact that this woman knew I wouldn't like to see her daughter's website means that she knows her daughter's bathing suits are below my standards. I am glad that she realizes that I have higher standards than most in our culture. Do you? Do others realize that your standards are higher than cultures by the way you live your life and the clothes you wear? If you are a believer in Christ Jesus, they should since we are called to be separate from the ways of the world. We live by godly standards since this isn't our home. Our home is with Christ and it is far more valuable than anything we have down here.
Wherefore come out from among them,
and be ye separate, saith the Lord,
and touch not the unclean thing;
and I will receive you.
2 Corinthians 6:16
Emily · 453 weeks ago
So I guess my question is do we dress modestly mainly to help men not to lust after us or to honor the Lord by not showing everyone our beautiful body God has given us? I want to know for my sake BC I can be uncomfortable around men especially if I am dressed extra cute even if its modest plus I want to know to give the reason to other young women.
Hope all that makes sense and thank you so much in advance!
God bless,
Emily
Lori Alexander 122p · 453 weeks ago
Dress to please the Lord and not cause a brother to stumble. Usually this will mean to not show a lot of flesh, not too tightly fitted clothing, and not too short. From learning from men, this is the most difficult for them to see. If a man still lusts after a woman even if she is dressed modestly, then it is their problem but if a woman is dressed immodestly and causes a man to lust, it is both of their problems. When you go out in public, dress as if you were standing before the Lord because one day you will be!
Ally Price · 453 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 453 weeks ago
Ally Price · 453 weeks ago
What you're trying to do is force your friend, and other women who share her views, into your mould. She might not be what you think that all women should be (and being something other than housewives doesn't make us less female), but she is not trying to be a man.
Lori Alexander 122p · 453 weeks ago
God's principles are good for everyone! Before feminism took hold, the majority of women were home with their children while the men provided for their family since America was founded upon biblical principles. No, it was far from perfect but at least mothers were the ones raising their children instead of strangers and everyone profited from it, especially the children. Most women have no idea they are following the feminist agenda and how harmful it is so I speak Truth to whoever will listen, even unbelievers.
Here is a quote from one of the feminist leaders:"How will the family unit be destroyed? ... the demand alone will throw the whole ideology of the family into question, so that women can begin establishing a community of work with each other and we can fight collectively. Women will feel freer to leave their husbands and become economically independent, either through a job or welfare."- Female Liberation , by Roxanne Dunbar.
Just because many women aren't Christian doesn't mean their children aren't suffering from them leaving them all day long. I have no ability to force anybody into my mold. Last I heard, we still have freedom of speech. I can freely teach what God's Word tells women to do and you, Ally, have the freedom to chose how to live!
If you are interested in reading my post on the feminist movement and how it started, you can read it here: http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/04/feminis...
Ally Price · 453 weeks ago
And yes, you have every right to teach what you do, and even as an atheist, I do respect your beliefs. In my initial comment I was merely suggesting that you're misrepresenting a group that you are not a part of. I'm not religious, I don't particularly like it, but I do appreciate a respectful dialogue with those who are.
it seemed, that you were presenting a false dichotomy. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong that but you are under the impression that if one is female, they either are housewives or they want to me men. What I hope to be respectfully trying to inform you, is the the "I wish I were a man" thought is not one the enters into our brains at all. What does enter our brains is "I really love doing this, I really love working with these types of things, and it's a privilege to get up and do it every day."
On a side note, I don't like Roxanne Dunbar. While I do think it's just fine to want to able to support yourself, in that quote you've mentioned she goes way over the top.
I think we can both agree that she is being way too extreme. My parents have taught me that marriage is a commitment that ones doesn't simply throw away because of an ideology. I've always seen my parents' respect for each other as something to strive for.
Thank you for this conversation. I hope you enjoy your weekend.
Lori Alexander 122p · 453 weeks ago
Yes, millions of women have been influenced by feminism and whether you want to admit it or not, you have been as well. Studies have been made that have proven the dire consequences children have when mothers aren't with them full-time to bond with them. No child can live without his mother full-time without it affecting them in some way.
It's fascinating to me that studies continually prove that God's ways are the best. Did you know that married women have the best sex lives? God intends for men and women to be married. Yes some won't get married but the majority should.
Ally, I hope if a good man comes along, you will happily marry him, bear children, and be home full-time with them but more than this, I pray you come to know the Savior who bled and died for you so that you can have eternal life.
Blessings to you and I hope you enjoy your weekend too. Thank you for reading my blog and having a kind discussion with me!
Ruth · 453 weeks ago
Lori, congratulations for more this amazing post the Lord have inspirated you. I have translated some of them into Portuguese, giving you the credit and quoting the source, check it out: http://sobrearochadocristo.blogspot.com.br/2016/0...
Lori Alexander 122p · 453 weeks ago
KiwiGuest · 453 weeks ago
While I agree that we must dress modestly both to honour God and to not tempt men, the only issue I have is, with having two daughters nearing their teenage years, striking that balance between teaching them modesty for the right reasons (both honouring God and not causing our brothers to stumble) but also teaching them that, in this culture of sexual abuse and rape, that rape is NEVER the woman's fault. That whole concept of teaching them how to keep themselves safe, while also acknowledging that there are bad people in the world, and if they fall prey to those rapists/sexual abusers that it is NOT THEIR FAULT.
I'm really not sure yet how to strike that balance. How do we teach our daughters to dress modestly because we have a responsibility towards men, yet at the same time teach them that rape is never the rape victim's fault?
Lori Alexander 122p · 453 weeks ago
I don't remember ever talking with my daughters about rape. We definitely had boundaries for them and prayed for them, this is for sure.
ACM · 452 weeks ago
i think we also need to teach our boys that even if they see a naked women lying on the street, get her help please- don't rape her!
i've talked to my daughter about rape and to all of the tips, i think the most important one for me is to stay sober. i don't want to make it seem like i am blaming the victim and it won't stop all rapes ... but being aware of your surroundings and who is near you is impossible if you are sober. what can you remember? what did you see? you have no idea. rapists pick the easiest targets. if you are sober, walking confidently with friends and not listening to headphones, etc. it would be harder to grab you.
anon · 453 weeks ago
Lori Alexander 122p · 453 weeks ago