Recently, I have had fun creating flow charts to show the consequences of our choices. Since I don't have a lot of room, I create a general consequence to each choice. Of course, it can't encapsulate every consequence for every choice of every person but they are created more to give pause to women for the choices they make and hopefully cause them to think that they may be on the wrong track biblically.
Last week, I posted a flow chart on two different paths that mothers can make; a career path working outside of the home or a home path working inside of the home. Here is my chart:
Now when I posted this, I knew I would get angry
women since I usually do whenever I write about women being keepers at home. Women have even accused me of having hatred for working mothers. No, I don't
have hatred for working mothers. I wouldn't be trying so hard to reason with
them to come home full-time if I hated them. I would be spewing curse words at
them and condemning them if I hated them. {This flow chart has become my most "liked" and most shared thing I have ever posted on my Facebook page! I am sure many have shared it in order to mock it.}
I write about being mothers being keepers at home since this is what the Lord has commanded that I do and I know the best place for mothers who have children to be is in the home with their children. That's it. I have no ulterior motive. I am not their judge. Yes, it offends working women but they must ask themselves why God's Word offends them. Can it be that they feel some guilt? Of course they do. Every working mother I have ever talked to or heard interviewed on the television has guilt over leaving their children with others, plus their husbands, who they are supposed to be help meets to, are usually last on the totem pole of their time.
Whatever choice any mother makes is between her husband, herself, and the Lord. They need to prayerfully study the Word and pray while asking the Lord for wisdom for it is Him who they will have to give an account for the choices they make in this life. They don't have to answer to me, but I do have to answer for how I have lived my life and if God commands older women to teach younger women to be keepers at home, this is what I will do. If I hated working mothers, I sure wouldn't try so hard to get them to understand God's will for their life since it's not easy dealing with the many younger feminist women who hate this teaching the Lord has given older women to teach them. The main reason I do this is for the children; if you asked them, they would say they want their mother home full-time with them. Someone has to speak up for the children and it might as well be me.
The aged women likewise,
that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers,
not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands,
to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own
husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5
***For you who would love to come home full-time, here are two of my most popular posts dealing with living within your husband's income, even if he doesn't make much:
50 Ways We Paid Off Our Home with One Income
Stretching Her Husband's Hard-Earned Income
***For you who would love to come home full-time, here are two of my most popular posts dealing with living within your husband's income, even if he doesn't make much:
50 Ways We Paid Off Our Home with One Income
Stretching Her Husband's Hard-Earned Income
Diana · 469 weeks ago
Haleigh · 469 weeks ago
Christine · 469 weeks ago
I totally agree with you, which means, I believe in the Truth of what God says.
Katie · 469 weeks ago
BlessedWife · 469 weeks ago
Lori, from reading many of the comments you allow in your comment section I can see how many women are greatly blessed by your words of encouragement as well as a gentle reprimand when there is a need. There will always be those who disagree and that's ok....at the end they will be answering His questions of why they didn't do as He asked when it came to their calling as a wife and mother. It's so encouraging to see an older woman doing what the Lord has instructed by teaching the younger women what type of wife and mom they need to be and how to be equipped to do so effectively. Thank you for all you do Lori!
LinB · 469 weeks ago
My children went to a Christian Learning Academy from 3-5 years before school where they learn to interact with other children in addition to what we were doing in the home. True, some stay at home mothers have an hour and a half more time with their children than I do. (My children are in school now.) But consider this... My husband and I have heard lately that "home school" is sort of changing to "homes school." Home schooling mothers create a network of moms who teach to a small group of children the areas they are strongest in. So I might teach Math and another mother teaches English. Is this wrong? To some maybe not, but to some maybe they want to be the only teacher for their child, which I would never want to say is wrong, because as you said, everyone is different. My daughter, who is very shy, loves school. She wants to be a teacher some day. Of course, when I ask her if she wants to stay at home with Mommy, she'll say yes. But when I tell her about not going to school she will seem conflicted. She loves passing papers out to her class mates and "playing teacher." She loves being line leader. She loves many things that her Academy offers that I can't because I would only have a classroom of two.
Also, I believe to teach children to be clean adults and learn the importance of taking care of their property means they should also clean around the home now, and that it's not the sole responsibility of the mother (although of course we do most of it). We have 15 minutes clean up every night as a family, and it seems to work well and we all work together. We stop right when the 15 minutes is up but it usually doesn't go the full length of time.
I believe everything is a choice. You can chose to walk in faith, you can chose to turn away. You can chose to put your family first or to let the stress of life get in the way. And even in the most high level, stressful job, I believe the mother who is organized, plans, and puts family first can be success at home and still make time for her children and spouse.
Kim Eversman · 469 weeks ago
Great post! You are on target which means you will be a target!
I am in a discussion with ladies at our church. Most are working, young moms and career older woman. I sat back and looked at each family. Most, if not all, have husbands who work at the local factories in the area. Some men are white collar, but most are blue collar. If all the women would come home and sell their two-income homes, cars, and reduce their lifestyles, all the women would have commonality. They could support each other with schooling and meeting the needs of their own husbands. They would find encouragement from the Word and each other. The men would see other men providing for their families, supporting their wives choice to be home, leaving their "toys" at the stores, and lead their families in the Lord. The families would be following God's design.
So many today want to serve mammon. They like the "extra" stuff money can buy.....the vacations, newer vehicles, clothes, purses, and shoes, endless decorations for the home. They want bigger and bigger houses that sit empty all day, motorcycles and other toys, fake fingernails and the latest cell phones. Most are serving mammon not God.
I know this to be true because I once served mammon and the things that it could buy. I am so thankful that I saw that my heart was sinful. My heart needed changed. Most people want to blame Satan, but the GREED in my heart, the heart of Kim Eversman is to blame. Jesus, by His grace, gave me a new heart, a heart that seeks after His will.
KathyM · 469 weeks ago
I do feel the stress of not having a clean house, etc..., but we are working on it all together, thankfully.
Thank you so much for taking time to spread the word. Even though I am not able to be at home, I still feel like I learn much from you and I know that, for now, I need to do this to help my husband and family.
Luckily I have one of those wonderful husbands who appreciates and loves his family.
katy010305 45p · 469 weeks ago
Anne · 469 weeks ago
Nothing got 100% for me during those two years – not my husband, not my kids, not my house, and certainly not the Lord. I still I'm not sure that we made the right decision to this day. I see repercussions that I cannot go back and undo. I never raised my voice before and I started doing it during that time :( There were also things that my kids saw and heard during those years that I can never get back. God is good and I now cherish every day att home.
pamelambc 33p · 469 weeks ago
I take issue with the assumption that we all have dirty houses, eat junk, and are constantly irritable and tired. All it takes is organization and everyone working together. There is no problem with teenagers cleaning the house so they learn how to care for a home. Even a boy needs to know how to clean in case he lives on his own before he is married. My husband has a flexible schedule as a pastor, so he is often home earlier than most men. He likes cooking and will often help me with dinner as a way to spend time together.
This chart is no more accurate than saying at home moms sit around watching soap operas all day. There are at home moms who are exhausted at the end of the day as well.
SHARALYN · 469 weeks ago
Jo · 469 weeks ago
Wouldn’t it be great if it was easy for all women to be at home with their young children and it is the best situation when one has young children, but sadly that isn’t the case for many even if they want to. One needs to trust in the Lord and He will provide — and even though I work, He has provided in the most amazing ways i.e. a job that suits my family and doesn’t tick those boxes on your flowchart (no microwave meals in my house). The Lord has a different story for me than you and we need to understand and respect that. Let’s have compassion for all women and offer encouragement and prayers whether they work or not. Let’s be encouragers and loving to all women and try to understand their story a little more. I have no regrets about working because if I did, I would be questioning God’s decision, instead I am joyful for being about to get up in the morning and serving Him in any way I can. I trust Him and my life is in His hands and at the moment that means working outside the home. When He wants me to change, I will do so.
Dustin Sandage · 469 weeks ago
Nobody rationally will think you hate anybody, but many will think you are being dishonest by assuming that a mother having a career will necessarily lead to that specific outcome.
Therese · 469 weeks ago
mama3 · 469 weeks ago
So I work full time, and we spend quite a bit to send my twins to a private Christian school.
I am trying to please God and my husband. I know i need to please God first.. Please pray for us. Pray that God will reveal His plan to us both, and give us both the confidence to take a leap of faith. I know you don't hate anyone and I love that you take a biblical stand. God bless you for doing what is right, even when difficult. Please pray for us that we can too.
Stephanie · 469 weeks ago
My own mom lived like this (we didn't see the meltdowns thankfully), and she warned me about it, and wanted me to pick a job that at least had an option of being part time so that my job wouldn't "get the best of me," and my children "the rest of me." That's really how it ends up, even if no one wants to admit it.
Guest · 469 weeks ago
Realistically, here in New Zealand, it is virtually impossible to survive on one income. In the cities - which is where the jobs are - we have a housing crisis, and rent is around $450 a week for the cheapest house. A man working full-time in a minimum-wage job is only making around $650 a week, which doesn't leave much for food, power, petrol, clothing, medical bills, everything a family needs besides a roof over their heads.
I agree that the Bible says a woman should be at home with her children. But sometimes, it is impossible. I guess all we can do is pray that the Lord will make it possible for us to be at home with our children.
Tracylynn · 468 weeks ago
Jessica · 468 weeks ago
tabijozwick 0p · 357 weeks ago
Sue · 354 weeks ago